her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
