I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Boobs speak an international language.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
