Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
is that a dick in a sweater?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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