jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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