cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
