..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
