none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
