Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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