I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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