Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
