I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
