New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
