what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
