Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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