You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
