sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
