better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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