D3 body, D1 cock
I bet he comes in French.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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