google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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