Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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