No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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