Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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