Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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