if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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