Umm I'm too high to move.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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