I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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