You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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