Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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