using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
