1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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