he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
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Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
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do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.