so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?