I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.