We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
