would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
