dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize