how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Pants 0. Shit 1.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
