i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I look better un-naked...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
