You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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