The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Someone signed my nipple.
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