I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
