remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
