If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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