I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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