They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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