worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
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if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
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there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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