A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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