How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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