so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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