She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
