i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
