hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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