Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
