i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
