We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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