I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
