Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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