you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
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He told me they were just razor bumps!
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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