if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
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We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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