this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My pussy is not your playground.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
