I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
