I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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