Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
not ubering you a puppy
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
