my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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