i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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