dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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