you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.