Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.