Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream