you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
