Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
