Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
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5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
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His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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