i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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